


Hungover

by The_starstruck_prince



Category: In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: M/M, its more likely than youd think......, me? projecting onto pete?, this is sad and you know damn well that i meant it to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 19:21:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11191731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_starstruck_prince/pseuds/The_starstruck_prince
Summary: no regrets, I hope u cried :)find me on tumblr, @the-starstruck-prince or @drabbles-of-a-cosmonaut !! <3





	Hungover

Sonny had decided to take the stairs in that old, dirty apartment complex, and immensely regretted it. However, as he was dodging cobwebs and being careful not to touch the handrail, it did help burn off some of the emotional energy that was slowly coiling tighter in his chest. Once he hit Pete’s floor, he carefully nudged the door open and slipped down the hall, searching for room 48. He stopped outside the door, biting his bottom lip, and dug out the extra key he had, letting himself in.

The apartment was a mess, like usual- spray cans littered the floor, there was a pile of clothes that seemed to never move off the couch, and canvas was spread out across the floor. Projects and portraits left halfway done, a coldness exerting from it that made a sick feeling crawl down Sonny’s spine. He clenched his jaw, navigating his way to Pete’s bedroom, entering.

“Pete? Pete, get up, we have to talk.” Sonny said, frowning at how feeble his voice sounded. He wasn’t sure if he was more upset than angry, but he knew that he felt _bad_ and it was _Pete’s_ fault. The body on the mattress stirred, groaned, but didn’t respond.

“ _Pete._ ” Sonny’s tone hardened, something that didn’t happen often. Pete rolled over, squinting at his boyfriend.

“What the fuck, Son- why are you here?” He grunted, bringing a hand up to palm at his temple, trying to massage away the building headache that was seeping into his brain.

“We- We need to talk, what- what the _hell_ was that, last night?” Sonny stumbled over his words. “Showing up at me and Usnavi’s last night like that?”

Sonny let the memory play over in his mind. He had been in his room, getting ready to go to bed, and Pete had turned up at his window, rapping on the glass. Sonny had let him in, and then Pete was on him immediately- Sonny remembered the overpowering scent of alcohol on the other’s breath, straining to push him backwards to look into his eyes, the hazed, glassy look that was settled on Pete’s face when Sonny finally got him to stop.

Pete’s expression was blank, but Sonny could tell by his eyes that he knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Pete, you’ve never been much of a drinker, what’s going on? Last night, you- you scared me a lot- Hey!” Sonny’s voice broke, but he continued. The other rolled back over, not offering any other acknowledgment. Sonny clenched his fists, opening his mouth to speak again, but Pete spoke first.

“Just- just go away, I don’t… I can’t think, my head hurts, and you’re not helping with all this talking.” His voice sounded so small, exhausted, threatening to fall out at any moment. Sonny’s anger disappeared, coloured with confusion and concern. “What’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird lately, let me help…” Sonny begged; all he knew was that something was wrong and he wanted to fix it.

“ _I don’t want to fight about this today…_ ” Pete whispered. He formed a fist around a handful of his sheets, clenching his jaw, willing himself not to break. Only a few more minutes, if he could get Sonny to leave, it would be okay, he would be able to push it all back down.

“Pete, I don’t understand, what-”

Pete sat up, turning to face Sonny, eyes dark. He looked terrible, as if he hadn’t slept in days, pale and weak. He let out a strained breath, meeting Sonny’s gaze- the younger boy felt suddenly cold, he wanted to turn around and leave, or step forward and hug Pete, or move at all, but none of his muscles would comply.

“ _Fine_ , if you want to know so bad, I’ll tell you.” Pete’s tone was flat and emotionless. “You don’t _get_ it, Sonny. You don’t get what it’s like to be in my head. All the time I feel terrible because I don’t have a job, I’m barely paying rent for this shit apartment, everyone thinks I’m some lowlife thug because I paint with spray cans. My art is never good enough. I wanted to be a famous artist, I wanted to go to school, and even though I’m only eighteen, I feel like a failure. I’m never going to get out of here, and even if I did, I’d have nowhere to go. I don’t know what to do with myself. “ Pete said, not breaking eye contact.

“Sonny, I hate myself,” He laughed spitefully, the noise was harsh and empty. “I hate that I’m not as smart or kind as you. I hate that I feel like a burden to you, to  
everyone. I hate that I have to carry all this shit with me all the time, cos no one else is there for me!” His voice wavered as he stood up at the last bit, spitting out the bitter words.

He had to admit- it felt good to finally say it, but the relief lasted only a second, because the expression on Sonny’s face made a dreadful feeling pool in the pit of Pete’s stomach. He fell back onto his mattress, dropping his hands into his lap.

Sonny was still frozen to the spot. His heart felt as if it had fallen out, hitting the floor with a wet thud; He had no idea that Pete had felt like this- he didn’t know, he couldn’t have known–

“Sonny, do you know how close I’ve come to ending it?” Pete’s voice shattered the room’s tension.

“ _W-what?_ ”

“I said, do you know how close I’ve come to ending it- my life, I meant.”

Suddenly all the oxygen had burned up in the room and he was suffocating, his mind raced with panicked thoughts- he didn’t want to think about what it would be like if he didn’t have Pete.

“If not for you, I wouldn’t be here, Sonny.” Pete said. He was finished talking- he laid back down, rolling onto his side, facing away from the door. His headache had only gotten worse, pounding against his skull incessantly.

Sonny was shaking all over, hot tears spilling down his face. Finally, his muscles seemed to wake up, an arm moving up to wipe at his face. He inched towards Pete’s bed, shuffling forward hesitantly. Should he leave, or should he stay? Pete probably wanted to be alone, but Sonny couldn’t bring himself to leave. He needed Pete to know that he wasn’t going to leave him behind.

He crawled into the bed, pressing his body against his boyfriend’s, pushing his arm up under Pete’s, pressing his forehead against the small of his back. He stayed like that, not moving or saying anything.

Pete could feel the smaller boy still quivering, and moved one hand up to grab his, giving it a weak squeeze. “I’m sorry I told you all that, I just… needed to let it out.” He whispered regretfully.

“I’m glad you told me.” Sonny’s voice was hoarse, he was surprised he can even talk around the lump in his throat. “I had no idea… I didn’t know that you’ve had to feel so alone…”

Silence for a while, just the two of them laying in bed, tangled in each other.

“I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’m going to help you through this. Pete? You mean everything to me, please tell me when you start feeling like this, okay?” The words fell out quickly.

Pete pressed his lips to Sonny’s hand in response. Sonny mumbled a quiet thank you, pressing his body against Pete’s.

Pete wasn’t sure how this could end, but he was glad that he had Sonny to stand with him. He closed his eyes, sighing softly. As his mind dissolved into the clutches of a light sleep, he pressed another kiss to the top of Sonny’s hand.

**Author's Note:**

> no regrets, I hope u cried :)
> 
> find me on tumblr, @the-starstruck-prince or @drabbles-of-a-cosmonaut !! <3


End file.
